My first horn teacher was named Dr. John Little. He was a vibrant professor who radiated love for music. Thinking of him reminds me of a great saying about teaching a friend of mine named Eric Booth coined: “80% of what you teach is who you are.”
Dr. Little was enamored with the horn and it was contagious. His teaching studio was filled with brightly colored tacky music paraphernalia including a poster of an upside-down French horn filled with scoops of ice-cream. Every time I walked down the stairs to the basement of Berea College’s music building for my lesson he was practicing, and every time I left he was practicing some more. He seemed to simply love to play.
One of his favorite mantras was, “Today we are going to fail.” I remember the first time he said that to us my dad (who sat in on my lessons) looked at him curiously. Weren’t we paying him to help me NOT fail?
He explained, “Each time we are together we are going to push you to do something that you’ve never achieved before. Whether it’s playing higher or lower than you’ve ever played or softer and louder than you think possible. Whatever it is, this is a safe space in which failure must take place in order for us to succeed.”
So with this in mind, he would push me weekly to play higher and higher and when I would fall off that top note as I squeezed it out with all my might he would applaud and smile and celebrate. Celebrate failing? That’s exactly what he did.
What a concept! Failure is necessary to success? Failure is a part of the process? Failure is to be expected, even anticipated?
In Jeremiah 8:4 the Lord says it this way:
“…..when you stumble and fall, you get back up, and if you take a wrong road, you turn around and go back.”
He didn’t say IF we stumble and fall, he said WHEN. So why is that such a foreign concept to us? There is nothing in the Bible that says that once we turn towards God we are recreated into infallible creatures. I think sometimes when we falter it makes us question everything, as if this salvation thing isn’t real because if it were we would simply and suddenly fail less.
Great hikers know that in order to scale the mountain there are times- sometimes long stretches of time- when one is traveling down rather than up as the trail winds it’s way through the passable terrain. As they scale downwards, it must feel like their target gets farther and farther out of reach, but that is not the case at all. These ups and downs are an absolutely necessary part of the journey to the summit.
Dr. Little intuitively knew that failure was inextricably linked to success and spent our lessons teaching me to GROW from my failures rather than allow them to be debilitating experiences that ground my confidence into dust.
So what’s the life lesson here? Let’s spend less time punishing ourselves, beating ourselves up, and belittling ourselves for life’s inevitable moments of failure. Instead let’s take a lesson from a great teacher who said, “Today we are GOING to fail.” Some days we’ll fail in small ways and other days in larger ways. The question is this: will we see these failures as opportunities to grow in ways that allow us to reach our dreams, both in life and in our walk with God?
2013 Copyright by Misty Tolle
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My Life as a Listener 
A great word for today (and one of my daily mantras). Great post!
Great food for thought and to help us all grow! How about this idea…from blog to Book!
I know that I say this alot but….I just love you! Coming from a very non-musical background, but marrying into one, I love music….but let’s just say I never celebrated failing at it. I was always intimidated by the talent around me. Singing in the MOW choir makes me feel safe to “fail” when all I want to do is worship God with all my heart. It has also stretched me and brought me out of my comfort zone. You have learned well from your teacher and shared it with us. Thank you!
Thank you so much Diane. Your words of encouragement encourage me!!!! Jeremy and I love you guys too- so thankful you aren’t going anywhere!
Thanks for sharing!! That was very timely ma’am! I think that is hard thing in our performance driven world.:)
such a good word Misty!
You have inspired me from the first time I met you, because you show me love and really meant it.
Thank you for the thought this morning I need them. The spirit you bring to us each Sunday is real and know that, again thank you and Jeremy I love u both sooooo much.
Misty, my heart overflowed with love as I read your blog. What beautiful words to share from yours. So proud you are part of our family.
Profoundly simple that God would give us talents and then use those very gifts to reveal Himself to us. Love, Dad
Every word is as pwerful as it is true. I remember every lesson. I also remember the abandon with which you pursued every sweet sound. Now, to watch you pursue God with the same reckless passion is like a symphony. I love you, Mom.
Very incouraging!
This is beautiful, Misty! Thank you for sharing this!
Just as every baby learning to walk must ultimately fall, if at any point it says there I tried it I gave it my best shot, I can’t do it then it will never walk, never explore, never be the adventurous creature God meant it to be. We must accept our failures sometimes embrace them, they are just another step toward the goal our Father has set for us. In music, in life success comes from learning from and conquering our fears and failures not dwelling on them just accepting them as another step toward the journey He has made for us. Keep up the good work Misty I’m sure I and others will enjoy and learn from this site. Thank you
Rereading this after a particular challenging day and realizing that the quest for perfection has created a debilitating fear of failure an unhealthy sense of shame and embarrassment over even the tiniest of mistakes. My biggest challenge as a Christian had been to believe that God loves me in spite of my failures and since he expects, even anticipates that I will fall again, has provided an abundance of grace and mercy. Thank you for this post.
I’m so glad this blog helps. Fear masquerades as perfectionism, guilt and so many other things! A part of our responsibility is to risk the delight found only in His presence, and expect that his grace is sufficient in every moment. Thanks for commenting and reading.